qq个性签名英文搞笑

1、种草不让人去躺，不如改种仙人掌！Grass people not to lie, as Gaizhong cactus!
2、其实大家交白卷都是年级第一，为什么非要自相残杀呢。
In fact we are handing the first grade, why kill it.
3、不看你终身遗憾，看你遗憾终身。
Do not look at your lifetime regret, to see you regret for life.
4、我的婚礼上会有你穿着婚纱走过红地毯。
I'll have you walking through the red carpet at my wedding.
5、痒吗？痒就对了，伤口在长肉时，神经末梢也在长。
Itch? Itch is right, the wound in the long meat, nerve endings are also in the long.
6、你说你是我朋友，其实我知道，动物的确是人类的朋友。
You say you are my friend, in fact, I know that animals are human beings.
7、夜无寐，只想寻欢打炮，人无踪，一只野狗干活。
Night without sleep, because people just want to shelling, without a trace, a wild dog.
8、今夜，让我们用冷战取暖！
Tonight, let us use the cold war heating!
9、毛爷爷脸红的时候最值钱。
Mao's face when the most valuable.
10、人家是全城热恋我们是全城停电。
People are in love we are the city power outage.
11、人生最大的缺憾就是不能吻自己的脸。
The biggest regret in life is not to kiss your face.
12、真正的装逼，敢于直面本身没有厚度的脸皮。
Real drunby, dare to faceitselfhas no thickness.
13、冬天来了，我不小心把棉被洗了。
Winter is coming, I do not care to wash the quilt.
14、你出生后是不是被扔上去次，但只被接住次？
You were born after being thrown up, but only to be caught?
15、现在的大学生太没素质了！过来拷毛片，居然用剪切！
Now the college students are too bad quality! Come copy feather, actually by shear!
16、有钱的时候喷香水，没钱的时候抹花露水。
When the perfume of money, no money to wipe toilet water.
17、爱一个人是什么感觉？就是说了晚安还想说晚安。
Love a person is what feeling? That is to say good night and want to say good night.
18、大便的离去，是马桶的追求，还是屁股的不挽留。
The departure of the stool, is the pursuit of the toilet, or not to retain the buttocks.
19、你不要再减肥了你长得丑不只是因为你胖。
You don't want to lose weight you grow ugly not just because you are fat.
20、你说要去看左耳，我找遍了整个医院你却在电影院。
You said you were going to see the left ear, I looked all over the hospital and you were in the cinema.
21、婚姻就像在餐馆点菜，一旦菜上来，是不给退的。
Marriage is like ordering food in a restaurant. Once the food is up, it's not to give back.
22、那个谁，回去撒包尿漱漱口再来吧！
The guy who, back and piss gargle again!
23、你那些恶作剧我是故意中招的，因为想看见你的笑颜。
Your practical joke I was deliberately misled, because I want to see your smile.
24、像一条疯狗，咬过跪太低头过，所以庆幸。
Like a mad dog bite too, kneeling down, so glad.
25、暗恋一个人太痛苦了，所以我暗恋了好几个。
To love a person is too painful, so I have a good love.
26、鸭子本来不会飞，但是煮熟了就会飞了。
The duck would not fly, but it would fly.
27、心脏变成一座荒岛，无人收买，也就不再出售。
The heart becomes a desert island, no one buys, it will not be sold.
28、姐妹们说，明儿算命去，算算那些贱人的命。
The sisters said, tomorrow to count the fortune teller, Bitch.
29、遇见了你，我才知道恐龙其实是可以再次出现的。